Monthly Recap

may 2024 recap


It’s time for another monthly recap! Take a look at previous recaps here.


Hi readers!

 

Big news: I finally got a job after being unemployed for over a year! Not hearing back from the jobs I applied to for that long brought up a lot of tears and self-worth issues. Ethan got really good at comforting me while I sobbed. But I worked through a lot of issues, pushed through a lot of dark thoughts, followed any insights that popped up, and finally was successful. What I wanted was to get a chill job that fit my needs, paid my bills, and wouldn’t burn me out while I devoted my free time to writing my books and building up my creative entrepreneur dreams. And I found it through a year-round lifeguard job at a fancy fitness center.

I’ve been a lifeguard on and off since 2013 and it’s honestly something I really enjoy. I like having a work uniform, but alternatively love that the uniform is me being half naked and barefoot. I like the peace and mindfulness of scanning the water, but also the constant low level adrenaline of practicing potential emergency scenarios in my head. I like that I get to be around people, but also that I don’t have to make eye contact with them and I’m supposed to end the conversations as quickly as possible. I love the smell of sunscreen and chlorine. I think it’s a job that’s well suited for both my austim and ADHD. Statistics show an alarming amount of unemployed and underemployed autistic people, so if I can pay my bills and stay at a job long-term without burning out and also publish books and grow my YouTube channel in my free time, like, that’s the fucking goal.

Speaking of free time . . . after starting work and putting in roughly 30-35 hours a week PLUS two hour daily commutes, I realized that time kind of isn’t . . . real? I feel like it can always expand to meet your needs. I’m still accomplishing the same creative goals that I was back in 2022 before I was rock climbing, before I had a boyfriend, before I had a social life, and before I was working. With every new thing implemented into my life, there has been a transition period, but then the new thing settles in comfortably next to the old things and there’s still time to get it all done. I truly believe that if there’s a desire on your heart, reality can shift and rearrange to bring it into your life. I’ve never been the most consistent creative person on the planet, but I’m still journaling every day, working on my novel every week, currently working on two different essays, reading, and I finished this mf-ing newsletter, babyyy.


writing:

 

My pirate novel is going well. I’m actually really excited about it. This novel feels different and better than others I’ve written in the past, and I think people will actually like and connect with this one.

I’m truly starting to embody the concept of pouring myself into my writing. The concept made sense to me when writing my personal essays, but it was too confusing when it came to fiction. How can I pour myself into a fictional story without turning the main character into a clone of myself? But it’s starting to make sense, primarily because I’ve tapped into the best writing style for myself. I call it intuitive writing. I don’t have a plot or an outline or a schedule. I set a timer for 15 minutes and I write what comes to me. I pour any frustrations or emotions from the day into those fifteen minutes. I pour any recently resurfaced memories or trauma of the past. And as a result, this book just feels very alive and organic. I’m constantly surprised and excited by the shape the story is taking.


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reading:

 

Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui—Karen Kingston

An honestly life-changing book about how clutter can affect our lives in physical, emotional, and spiritual ways. I decluttered the area of my room that, according to the book, represented the financial part of my life, and less than a week later I got two job offers after hearing crickets for over a year!


listening:

 

“Goodbye”—Cage the Elephant

“when the party’s over”—Billie Eilish

“Doin’ It Right”—Daft Punk ft. Panda Bear

“Lake Shore Drive”—Aliotta Haynes Jeremiah

“O-o-h Child”—The Five Stairsteps


watching:

 

One Piece—Thriller Bark arc

The Summer I Turned Pretty—seasons 1 + 2

The Amazing Race—season 35


living:

 

Planning a major trip with Ethan at the end of June.

Ethan’s obsession with making the perfect banana bread.

Working on a V7 that is a combination of all my weaknesses.

Homemade bahn mi sandwiches from Ethan.

Addicted to pickled red onions + honey mustard potato chips.

Seeing an assortment of hats covering the freeway.

Watching the agave plant sprout a stalk as tall as a palm tree.

Doing a major digital + physical declutter.

Italian restaurant with duck pizza.

Smiley face graduation balloon sticking out of a trash can.

Getting complimented on my ears of all things.

Reading on a blanket in the backyard with the dogs.

 

Thanks for reading!
Ally

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