My Mom Is Okay With Nudity

Me: I could have been a pioneer woman.

Mom: Yeah right, you wouldn’t be able to survive without blogging.

Me: Nah, I’d write letters to my city friends back east and they’d publish them in the newspaper: “This woman goes where none have gone before”. And all the pioneer men I’d be traveling with would try to kill the savages but I’d secretly learn how to live off the land from them so when all the stupid white men die of diseases, I’d be free to marry an Indian boy named…um…”

Mom: Running Bear.

Me: Running Bear?

Mom: “Bear” as in “naked”.

Me: Oh my gosh, yeah!!

Ps, here’s a picture of me giving a report on Sacajawea to my homeschool group. I’m mumbling as quickly as possible, hoping to get through the entire page before the scary lady behind me finds the volume knob and turns my shaky, terrified-of-public-speaking voice up a couple notches.

Ps (again:) “Just Around The Riverbend” from the Pocahontas soundtrack is my most played song of 2018. I’m hoping to be this year’s candidate for “Most Likely To Zone Out And Stand On A Desk Chair That Is Actually A Cliff While Trying To Decide Between Marrying Kocoum Or Ignoring The Sound Of Distant Drumming”.

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