Once upon a time I was a normal person who slept in a normal bed.
Until I lost my job and stopped having any reason to leave my bed which in turn gave me insomnia and back pain and that was p lame so I did a little online research and found reason to believe that transitioning into an organic vegan non-GMO pillow-free lifestyle would help with Problems, INC. so I ditched the feather sacks and started sleeping like a baby.
Oh, I live near Las Vegas which is a rly hot place guyz and my bedroom isn’t plugged into the air conditioning mainframe because the previous owners of the house added this room later as an afterthought and tacked a noisy AC box onto the wall that turns the room into a refrigerator and sounds like a rattling laptop fan when it tries to raise Outlook from the grave which totally kills my zen so I keep the air off, the fan on, and my blanket and I are taking an extended break from each other.
Tbh there should be a fitted sheet on the mattress because I’m not an animal—I sleep on top of a sheet and wash it weekly, jeez.
I’ve had my share of moving out attempts like working as a live-in nanny and working as a camp counselor and obvs like seven different dorm rooms over the years and the defining quality between all these places is that part of the package deal included providing me with my own mattress but later this year I’m moving into my first apartment which doesn’t come with a mattress unless the resident squatters share theirs and I can’t take the one I’m using now b/c my parents bought it for their Guest Room Suite and need me to get the h out of their house because I’m cramping their style.
I can’t take the bed either obvi.
Happy adulthood. Sweet dreams.
P.S. This post was automatically scheduled to post this morning and I was supposed to spend last evening completing the final edits, but instead I was out partying. The post published while I was blissfully asleep and hungover, and I woke up to find that it got the most likes out of any post I’ve ever published. I guess I’m a better writer/worse editor than I thought. Thank you.